Universally Challenged

It's been one of those great weeks for snobbery, the kind we stiffen our upper lips for in Britain. I remember clearly incidents at school where in order to hide one's intelligence, one would have to imitate a cockney rebel yelp when reading Oliver Twist aloud in class for fear of a behind-the-shed drubbing. A violently yanked tie could break a boy’s windpipe - a nasty trick, that one. Of course, I’m not suggesting that the likes of trailblazing clever clogs Gail Trimble would ever have been so unceremoniously tunnelled in a ladies lavatory at somewhere like Corpus Christi, but maybe her University Challenge team mate Sam Kay may wish to take a different bunk upon his return to campus for fear of itching powder in his pillow case. He may feel that he had overstayed his welcome, which he clearly has, because it was revealed this week that Kay isn’t even at university anymore, and instead has a job at PricewaterhouseCoopers. The Beeb, sensing a Uni-gate backlash of Daily Mail proportions, quickly robbed Oxford of their title and handed it over to Manchester, the show’s runner up, who have diplomatically remained quite blasé about the whole thing. Surely the biggest regret regarding this whole affair is the overshadowing of Trimble’s terrific trail blazing: she scored more points than her three team mates put together, which begs the question that it probably wouldn’t have made much difference if the rest of her team hadn’t even bothered to turn up at all, let alone graduate. Next year, expect to see Trimble alongside a plumber from Dorking, a Sussex bee keeper and Wonky the Clown.

So the snob-bashing continues, mostly from those sorts who confuse intelligence with arrogance, particularly in an over educated news week of endless repetition where it was not only announced that GCSEs are so easy that one day, pupils won’t even have to turn up to sit them, and will instead just get their cats to text in their answers. That isn’t true, of course, but in a world where Liverpool Hope University are offering an MA in Beatles Studies (yes, look it up), then you do have to question these new levels of absurdity. We’re great at taking money from thick kids, but what good, honestly, is a degree in Beckhamology, knitwear and golf course management? (They're not made up, either). Well, obviously, the answer to this starter for ten is quite simple: these students could easily form three successful spare parts for Trimble’s next university pub team. As long as they were still students, of course.