Friday 7 August 2009

Isn’t It A Wonder


There’s a website which is encouraging people to vote for their new, updated Seven Wonders of the World (apparently the Pyramids are just so 2000 BC). There are plenty of natural phenomena which are worthy of great praise, like the Grand Canyon, Mount Kilimanjaro and Vesuvius, and you can cast your votes now at New7Wonders.com. But clearly they’ve made quite a few rather glaring omissions. Here are our personal top seven.

The Newbury By-Pass - The largest cardio-vascular surgery ever attempted on a Cotswold town.

The Leaning Tower of Weezer - Located in Los Angeles, this manmade structure is over 3,500 ft high and made entirely from unsold reissues of the album ‘Make Believe’, the 2005 album from California rock band Weezer.

Sidney Opera’s House - An attractive and exciting real estate opportunity in an up and coming area. Master en-suite, spacious living area, kitchen/diner, good sense of humour, likes long walks and going to the cinema.

The Tomb of Terry the Terrible - Buried under 2,000 tonnes of hay, Terry Godwin was posthumously found not guilty of stealing the remains of Tudor monarch Edward VI, the bones of which were later revealed to have belonged to a mandrill.


Toad in the Hull - A giant amphibian stranded in the River Humber which can be seen from space.

Viagra Falls - This large gathering of millions of mostly elderly, impotent gentlemen, crowd at the edge of these Eastern-Canadian cliffs, furiously ridding themselves of their excess potency, brought on by over indulgence in the over prescribed, illegally distributed drug.

Mount Boff - A giant, encapsulated, underwater fart left dormant for centuries. It has been predicted that if this active fart were to erupt it could cause the equivalent devastation of a thousand Pompeii’s.